Planning Your Future Together: A Premarital Visioning Exercise
Building a Shared Vision for Marriage
Whether you’re preparing for your first marriage, remarrying, or blending families, planning your future together is one of the most important investments you can make. Marriage is more than a wedding day — it’s the daily choices, shared dreams, and teamwork that shape your life as a couple.
This exercise is designed to help you and your fiancé(e) explore your hopes for the future — not just for the next year, but also for five and ten years down the road. Together, you’ll reflect on important topics such as your roles in marriage, children and parenting, finances, lifestyle, and long-term goals.
👉 You can approach this exercise in two ways, both of which require intentionality:
Focused Approach: Set aside dedicated time to work through the questions in a structured way. Each of you answers individually first, then come together to share and reflect. This method allows for deep, uninterrupted conversation.
Integrated Approach: Spread the questions out and use them as conversation starters during date nights or everyday moments together. Choose one or two at a time, answer individually, and then share. This keeps the dialogue ongoing and allows you to build connection in the flow of daily life.
Whichever approach you choose, the purpose is the same: to engage in honest conversation, notice where you align, where you differ, and intentionally build unity for your future.
Part 1: One Year from Now (Our Newlywed Season)
Marriage & Relationship Focus
What do you imagine daily life will look like for us in our first year of marriage?
How do you picture us handling conflict?
What would make our first year feel like a success to you?
Home & Roles Focus
Where do you see us living (house, apartment, city, etc.)?
How do you see husband and wife roles in the first year (household chores, decision-making, spiritual leadership, etc.)?
Children & Family Focus
What do you believe your parenting style is (or what do you imagine it will be)?
How do you define the role of a mother? The role of a father?
How do you imagine us sharing or balancing these roles in our family?
How do you want us to handle discipline in our home? (What feels fair, consistent, or important to you?)
How many children do you imagine us having?
What values do you want us to instill in our children, even from the earliest years?
If we don’t plan to have children right away, how do you see us investing in extended family, friendships, or community in this season?
If we already have children or are blending families:
What role do you see each of us playing in daily routines, discipline, and care?
What level of authority should each of us have when it comes to discipline (biological parent vs. stepparent)?
How do we want to handle disagreements about discipline in front of the children?
How do you envision us blending or uniting our parenting approaches?
Financial Focus
How do you imagine handling bank accounts (joint, separate, or both)?
How do you want us to create and follow a budget?
How much should we spend, save, and give in this first year?
Part 2: Five Years from Now (Building Our Family & Home)
Marriage & Relationship Focus
How do you see us balancing work, home, and marriage in five years?
What stage do you see us in — starting a family, focusing on careers, traveling, etc.?
Children & Family Focus
If children are part of your vision by this stage:
What discipline approaches and values do you want to guide our parenting?
How do you see us dividing parenting responsibilities?
If children are not part of your vision, how do you see us investing in other relationships and passions?
If we already have children or are blending families:
How do you see our children growing in the next five years, and what role do you want to play in shaping that?
What challenges do you anticipate as parents, and how do you want us to handle them as a team?
How do you want us to adjust our discipline approach as children grow older?
How can we stay united if the children push back or test boundaries differently with each of us?
Home & Lifestyle Focus
Where do you hope we will be living? Same city or somewhere else?
What do you imagine our home life looking like?
Financial Focus
Where do you want us to be with savings and debt in 5 years?
What are your thoughts on buying a home vs. renting?
What level of lifestyle (travel, dining, entertainment) feels realistic and healthy to you?
How do you imagine us handling financial disagreements or unexpected expenses?
Part 3: Ten Years from Now (Our Long-Term Vision)
Marriage & Relationship Focus
What do you hope our marriage relationship looks like 10 years in?
How do you hope our roles as husband and wife evolve over time?
Children & Family Focus
What stage of life do you imagine our children being in at this point (elementary, middle, high school, or even adulthood)?
What role do you want to play in their lives as they grow more independent?
What kind of family culture or traditions do you hope we have created?
How do you want us to handle discipline with older children or teens?
If we already have children or are blending families:
How do you see your parenting style evolving as children mature?
How do you want us to stay united if/when challenges with older children or teenagers arise?
How can we support each other’s authority and still show respect for the role of biological parents, stepparents, and co-parents?
Career & Home Focus
What do you want our careers and home life to look like by then?
Where do you see us living long-term?
Financial Focus
What does financial security mean to you at 10 years in?
What is your vision for retirement planning, investments, or long-term giving?
Do you picture us living with financial freedom (travel, big home, generosity), or with a simpler lifestyle?
What legacy do you want us to be building together (spiritual, relational, financial, family, or community impact)?
Part 4: Reflection & Discussion
After sharing your answers together:
Where do our visions align?
Where are we different, and how can we find common ground?
What assumptions are we each bringing into marriage that we need to talk through?
What is one step we can take now to move toward the future we want together?
Final Thoughts
Marriage is a lifelong journey of learning, adapting, and growing together. By asking these questions before you say “I do,” you’re laying a stronger foundation for trust, unity, and shared vision.
And sometimes, those conversations bring up differences or challenges that feel hard to work through on your own. If you need a therapist to help guide those discussions, provide tools for communication, or support you in navigating family dynamics, we’re here to help.
At The Freed Mind Group (TFMG), our counselors specialize in helping couples navigate major life transitions — whether you’re preparing for marriage, blending families, adjusting to parenthood, managing finances together, or seeking to strengthen your connection as partners. We believe every couple has the ability to create a life of purpose, peace, and partnership, and we’re here to walk alongside you as you do.
👉 Ready to take the next step? Request an appointment here.
